Caring for the dying
Written by Lucy Honeysett
As a hospice nurse, it’s been a privilege to care for people who are dying. To play some small part in reminding them that they are precious, their life is of great value, they are not forgotten, and where possible and if God opens doors, sharing with them that they are created by God in His image (Gen 1:27) and precious to Him (Mt 6:26). As I connect with carers working across the care sector, I can see that God strategically places Christians to protect and value the most vulnerable in society; those with learning and physical disability, with mental health challenges, those aging and becoming frailer with increasing care needs and those approaching the end of life.
I was recently asked to comment on proposals being put forward in Scotland to legalise assisted suicide. If assisted suicide became legal as it is in other countries, people like this could access and perhaps be offered assistance to die. This view is very difficult to square with what we know of God’s will and the immense value He puts on humanity. No life reaches a point where it is no longer worth living (Ps 139:13-18).
End of life care
People who are dying have understandable worries and concerns about what the future will look like. In my experience, it is the fear of the dying process, of suffering at the end of life, of becoming a burden, losing all control and being alone that causes some to question whether ending life sooner might be the better option. Good end of life care and specialist palliative care is available and should be invested in.
With advances in medicine, the majority of physical symptoms can be very well managed now so that comfort is maintained. But the psychological and spiritual pain of a person cannot be simply fixed by medication. It can be soothed by the commitment of people willing to journey with the dying; listening to worries, explaining what dying might look like, helping plan for the future so that their voice can be heard and wishes respected, helping use the time available to search for the true meaning of this life, restore relationships (taking the opportunity to say ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I forgive you’, ‘thank you’, ‘I love you’), and provide the reassurance that they will not be abandoned. As Christians, our hope and prayer is that people come to faith in our Lord Jesus and have confidence in their living and dying moments that they are secure in Him.
Suffering is not a question which demands an answer, it’s not a problem which demands a solution… it’s a mystery which demands a presence’.
Anonymous
Caring like Christ until the very end
Carers are so often placed by God to be ‘present’ and to bring comfort and support. Carers connected to Christians in Care share their experiences of caring for dying people and the privilege and responsibility it is to show God’s love and compassion when it’s needed most. Some tell me that the person they are caring for is longing for a pill to end their life. These carers are trusted by frightened people who can perhaps be more honest with them than they can with their own loved ones.
Carers have the incredible privilege and opportunity to bring kindness and compassion to people who may be in the depth of despair by listening well, not judging them or brushing these comments aside, seeking professional help if there is a need for review of medication or physical and psychological review, and, perhaps most powerfully of all, remaining present, prayerful, and committed to the person as they shine the love of Christ into the darkness (Mt 5: 14-16).
Further Information
For more information about this and related topics, please take a look at these resources:
CARE article on palliative care: The Christian roots behind palliative care | CARE
Christian Medical Fellowship: Article on assisted dying
Professor John Wyatt: Running the final lap seminar
Dr Kathryn Mannix: Dying is not as bad as you think
Hospice UK: Information and support